As those of you who are friends with me on Facebook already know, yesterday was rough on Rion (and myself.) He did really good on Sunday, in fact it was nearly impossible to even tell that he had started back on his chemo the night before- he was up and about early doing his usual weekend stuff- cutting grass, running errands, eating good for breakfast & lunch, basically just being his normal self. By Sunday night I could tell things were starting to hit him because he wasn't able to eat more than a few bites of dinner before feeling nauseous and having to stop. That night he forgot to take his anti-anxiety/sleeping medicine which caused him to not sleep very well and start off Monday feeling tired and weak. I made him a smoothie/milk shake for breakfast yesterday morning which he was able to drink eventually but he had a hard time eating for the rest of the day. Things went down hill in the late afternoon/early evening when he got sick while taking a bath. He ended up taking a phenegren around 5:30 which caused him to sleep for over 2 hours (but it also prevented him from vomiting any more.) Luckily he was able to eat about 1/2 a can of soup before taking his medication at 8:30 and entering into the hour long fast he has to do each evening before he takes his chemo at 9:30...we did remember to give him a sleeping pill at 8:30 so after taking his chemo he was out for the night.
He says he slept well last night but I'm not sure how accurate that is- at one point I found him asleep on the couch in the middle of the night (he said he got up to get a glass of milk and sat down for a second and must have fallen asleep.) He didn't want me to make him any breakfast this morning before I left but we discussed a few easy options for what he could have so hopefully he'll feel up to it. During these 5 days I'm just glad if he'll eat ANYTHING but I really think that eating healthier will give him more energy and be less likely to upset his stomach. (He ate a small fast food hamburger yesterday afternoon and I have my suspicions that upset his stomach- but when he says that's all that sounds good it's hard to discourage him from eating something.) Just tonight and tomorrow night left and then we can start recovering. I can't imagine what it's going to be like next month when they increase his dosage.
Of course I am trying to remain strong and positive but it's so incredibly hard! I come home from working all day and running a few errands and sit there by myself for 2 hours trying to think of anything I can do to help him out, I don't want to be loud and wake him up (our house is pretty small) and I don't have the energy or motivation to get off the couch and exercise or call a friend. Basically I just sit there alone with my thoughts trying to distract myself with whatever crap is on TV (Basketball Wives, really, could TV get any worse?!?!) I'm relieved that Rion is able to get up for about an hour but I'm still conscious of the noise level in the house and not wanting to heat up any food with strong smells that might upset his stomach again. I shush the dogs and keep them out of his lap and try to make things as pleasant as possible for him. But then it's time for bed and I can't help but wonder if tomorrow (today) is going to be the same way. Will I hardly get to see my husband at all? Will he be sick, miserable for the majority of the day? What can I make him to eat that he'll a) like and b) won't upset his stomach?
Is this how it's going to be for the next 10 months?
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